July? Already?

Hi Blog,
I didn't actually die. I just took a really long break. I went to my wonderful grandson's first birthday. It is awesome to have a grandson. It is even better to know his parents are doing a great job. I know they would benefit from lots of my advice, but I have nothing to suggest that they aren't already doing. Maybe they could start each day telling him I am the best grandma anyone ever had. His other grandma could be second best. or really good too. I will work on refining that concept.
I am amazed that, when I only see him every few months, my grandson seems to remember me. There is no gift as precious as a bright smile from my grandson. I would like a million dollars to go with each smile, but I don't think I will hold my breath.
Taffy, the dog, took me for a walk today. She seems happy to do this any time I am willing. It is kind of sad, but she is truly my best friend at this point. As soon as I get more energy I will work on that too.
I am reading Harry Potter again because Sarah told me to. She is very persuasive. She just turned 17. She was one yesterday. Who lets these kids grow up so fast? Morgan and Kara had better keep an eye on Jasper so he takes the regular amount of time to grow up.
I have a lot of tomatoes on my plants this year. Unfortunately the white flies have discoverer them and we are having a contest. The flies are winning. I am planting more tomatoes around the corner and not telling the white flies about it. I have to fight the snails for my cucumber plant as well. Daunne was afraid it was a squash plant and was ready to do it in herself.
This summer is just so exciting.

Sore feet

Taffy and I went for the short walk again. When I was young and random my feet never hurt unless I walked seven miles in summer without shoes. I hope a mindset change will do some good. For now I am relying on Advil. It is spring and really beautiful here. I must get David to help me put pictures on the blog. Thank you follower. I am happy not to be entirely talking to myself.

Thanks to my generous son I have a camera with which I plan to take pictures of walks and pets and cool stuff. Today I learned that you can't take pictures when you forget to bring the camera. While that is obvious, it was not obvious that I needed to take special steps to ensure that I remembered the camera.
I had a memorable April Fool's Day thanks to David and Sarah who played computer pranks on me for a couple days. I believe I was suitably irate when they hid my game and changed everything. It was an impressive effort on their part.
I have not written for a while. My current situation has me stumped. I keep forgetting to get the cards I need to send. I was terribly concerned that I would get back to my blog and find I had more followers. One is the perfect number.

surgery

My mother, who is even older than I am, is having surgery tomorrow for colon cancer. I think it is really difficult to deal with something over which I have so little control. I have no control about getting news from my sister about what is happening. I want things to be OK. I did not have a very good childhood. At times it is funny how bad it was. I am surprised how hard it is to face tomorrow. I am afraid of what is going to happen to my mother. She is almost 90. There is no way for her to die young. I just don't want her to be afraid, or suffer. I wish I could do something to help. Of course there is nothing I can do. I have people praying for her. That is the best I can do.

Suddenly it is very warm and beautiful. It seems like we have gone from winter straight into summer. I would like some chilly and sunny spring. I think I am out of luck. I am increasingly sad to think how much all the children in my life have grown up. Good thing I have a grandson. It is such a reminder of new life and renewal. I think that kind of thought is important in a world that seems obsessed with things that seem limiting and competitive.
It is good to think that there can be a kind of renewal for those of us who didn't die young(not that we are old). I guess we have to find our joy in the dreams of our new ones, like Jasper(who has not communicated them totally, but I believe his dreams include having his own computer and being just like his daddy.)
I think it is really good to think of what I am grateful for before I just stop noticing how lucky I am. there are so many people I love. I hope they know how much they mean to me. I wonder if I express my joy in knowing them enough. Who really knows? Maybe love is something that travels to people without words needing to be spoken. Anyway, I love you guys.

Today will be a good day. Today will be a good day. Today will be a good day!
I need all the encouragement I can give myself. My favorite aunt died. My amazing mother-in law has stage four breast cancer. She is the best, kindest, sweetest mother-in-law anyone ever had. I am trying to find the best way to support her. Now my mother has colon cancer. OK, none of that is actually happening to me, but I am feeling kind of overwhelmed anyway. In all this I feel so powerless. I think the best thing to do is to concentrate on thinking about my grandson. Jasper is such a ray of hope and joy.
Wait a minute, my son is also a ray of joy and so is my sister. Cup half full, cup half empty. Decide! I think more sleep would help me make a better decision. I wish I could think of a good joke to tell myself. I will work on it.

Today Taffy and I went for the short walk. We have the best neighborhood. People are friendly and lots of them walk through the neighborhood. My feet have blisters from bad socks so we had to do the 35 min. walk. The 50 min walk is more fun. I planted strawberries and lettuce and sugar snap peas. It may be too warm already, but I am trying. We planted tomatoes Sunday. We have a gopher problem and have to figure out containers. Today has been wonderful.